This is a RANT! - 3 Types of Annoying people you meet everyday

I really needed to vent out and post a rant about all the things that annoy me to death. So, here it is.

Number 1 - People with heads that are large enough to be Helium balloons.

... full of hot gas

You know what I'm talking about. There are those people who are intent on making a point of just how smart/busy/awesome they are (when clearly, they aren't). How to spot one of these morons? Easy. All you have to do is ask a simple question and they will give you a complete recap of their life and achievements.

Example

you - "Hey dude, how are you doing? I feel like I've been run over by a Mack truck."
Annoying bigheaded person - "Really? I feel great. You know despite the fact that I took a power walk through Death valley after work on Friday and then wrote my entire life's memoirs on my Android phone and while beating my computer in chess, level 9 of course."
Your mind -WTF? (your face - O_o )

...surviving w/out brains, worse

These people are self absorbed idiots who think that they are better than everybody else and will try to impress (cough *show off *cough) their -often times lame - achievements.

How to be rid of them - sadly, man is yet to invent a successful method of deflating overly inflated brainless heads without resorting to murder. This means that you are entirely up to your own devices. Instead of trying to one-up them, you should nod at the appropriate places and try your best to avoid talking/texting/chatting/messaging with these people at all costs. They're on your Facebook? Well then you're screwed.

Number 2 - The annoying fat people in buses (not the regular ones)

yeah, right

I am one of those unfortunate souls who has to bus-it to and from work everyday. This puts me (sadly) in close proximity with these obese morons. My problem is when I am unfortunate enough to share a seat with one of these people, I end up clinging to dear life and praying that the bus won't move too much because apparently, the large person next to me has decided to fall asleep/ place their size-appropriate bag next to them (taking up even more space)/ or act totally pervy or smell to the heavens. Seriously, there should be a size limit to people who are allowed to sit in buses (or stand... oh what the hell, they should totally walk, they need the exercise). And then there are the ones who walk reeeeeeallly slowly on narrow aisles blocking your progress and wasting your life.

How to spot them - Well duh, that mountain of jiggling flesh tottering towards you or spilled on the one available seat on the bus is one of these creeps. Male or female, they are everywhere.

Good luck with that Fatso!

How to avoid one - Well, unless the government imposes a maximum weight/circumference limit on people, fatties will continue to live on and annoy you to death. Try to keep out of their way and go on a diet to avoid becoming one of them yourself.

Number 3 - Stalkers

:-s

Ever since the birth of social networking, the art of stalking has been taken to a whole new level. Stalking used to be something that required immense stealth and planning as it was mostly carried out in person. (You know like that fairy, Edward Cullen) But now, thanks to Mr. Sucker-berg, we have to try our best to keep these creeps from viewing our pictures on Facebook.But they don't just stop at looking. They also like to poke, friend request, message and add our friends too. This is so damn annoying when you find a whole bunch of unknown weirdos messaging and poking you at all odd hours of the day. Seriously, just because you have a picture of some cute guy you found out on the internet, that does not give you the right to poke anyone (mainly 'cause you are NOT that cute guy).

As for the traditional stalker-types, they still do exist. As a result of being a poor soul who has to bus-it, I run in to these in the flesh quite a lot.

You might want to stop leaving your profile open. Your cat might take pity and, you know the rest!

How to spot one - Easy, all the random creeps who try and add you on Facebook are stalkers to some degree. It is best to avoid them like the plague. But, there are those who take stalking to a whole new level. Like, messaging, poking and adding your friends (the dumb ones who would add anything that can click the "add as a friend" button). If you have decided to add one of these creeps by accident, or out of pity then be warned as they will bombard your statuses with their lame comments. So, if you're adding them, do so at your own risk.

The traditional ones are hard to miss. They stare at you, unabashedly, like they've never seen another human being before. And will try to strike a conversation or smile with you or worse, persuade you to call them.

How to avoid one - Easy, don't add them. If they keep annoying you, block them or, be nasty and report them so that Sucker-berg's army of minions can deal with them.

Avoiding the traditional ones is a bit tricky. You might want to tell them to back off or remove yourself from the situation to avoid them. But in reality, they'll be a pain throughout the entire bus ride. Enjoy.

Well, that's all for now. Ah, it feels good after a rant :D

Day I has rantz. Teehee

About LOLcats

OK, you may have guessed about my obsession with cats and all things to LOL at (there really is no excuse for not noticing). So, I decided to take a bit of time to let you know just why I Love LOLcats....!!!

Reason #3 - I Love cats

If you don't like these arrogant yet lovable and annoying yet cute little fur balls, no amount of pictures of them with entirely unrelated captions are going to make you laugh. If you have a cat, you probably know what I mean when I say that event hough they appear to be innocent and clueless (OK not clueless, it's more like utter disregard) they seem to be hiding massive amounts of inner meanness and scheming capabilities that only come out when you forget to leave food or water for them (or refuse to belly rub).

...I do, I do, it's just that...

Some people wonder what there is to love about animals that do things like, completely ignore you when you come home after a long day of work, never seem to want to play when you're in the mood, attempt to sharpen their claws on your face while you sleep and chew any important piece of cable you leave outside (OK, that only happens to me... I think). But still, what other animal has the ability to make you forget about the crappy way they treat you with one long purr, one attempt to trip you by rubbing against your feet and one look with those dilated pupils?

I iz prettier than Puss in bootz

Reason #2 - I Love funny pictures

Who doesn't? Since the cat at home only makes you laugh once in a blue moon when it has nothing better to do (which it always does by the way; sleep, eat, scratch things, sleep, clean his tail... no time to be funny when you're busy with all this), you have no choice but to check out what the internet has to offer and laugh at those pictures that were taken at the exact right moment (if not captioned with the exact right words).

see what I mean?

Reason #1 - LOLspeak

This language is perfect (or should I say purrfect) for cat captioning. Messed up grammar and typo spelling has never been this much fun (It kind of suits cats too. Since, they always make their own rules, who gives a hairball about teh grammarz tat stoopid hoomins made? purr-leasez!). As long as you don't end up writing important business letters (example: 'Therefore, I proposez tat all catz is to be givin Cheezburgerz at lunch timez') in lolspeak, a few good laughs at internet LOLcats won't do any harm.

New Glasses...

Now that I am officially a writer, that meant I would eventually ruin my eyes by staring at white, word documents at all hours of the day. So, I decided to finally get a pair of those filtering glasses to make sure that I don't go blind.

DO NOT WANT To GETZ BLIND...

Really, I don't know why kids get made fun of at school for wearing glasses. It's actually pretty awesome (unless of course, they are 1/2 an inch thick and make your eyes look four times bigger. That would just suck!).

HalP, Mai Eye! IT GROWD!

They did take a bit of time to get used to. Is it the same with everyone? I kept focusing on the frame at first. Now it's totally fine I hardly notice the frame.

I iz not Blind kitteh

And................., I get to do all sorts of cool stuff like,

1. Wipe my glasses with the little piece of cloth that comes in the case
2. Try to put on my glasses with one hand
3. Put the glasses on with both hands
4. Look at my reflection with glasses
5. Adjust my glasses
6. Push them up my nose
7. Take them off and fold up the arms
8. Open the arms
9. Holding up the lenses to see if there are any bits of dust stuck to them
10. Repeat cool glasses thing No.1 
11. Ability to liberally use the emoticon - 8-) for no apparent reason
12. Trying to focus on the little white plasticky bits (that hold the glasses on the nose) while the glasses are on
13. Trying to catch the reflected colours , while wearing the glasses
14. Actually catching the reflected colours while the glasses are off
15. Looking at my reflection and adjusting my head so that one eye is purple and the other is green
16. Move the glasses up and down my face to try and spot the glare difference.
17. Compare glasses with Chester Bennington (I have the same ones)
18. Pretend I'm all nerdy
19. Etc.

See? Who wouldn't love their computer glasses? Geeks have all the fun!

So you wanna be emo....

Nemo's depressed cousin

This article will tell you how to be emo without being labelled as a poser. Recent studies have shown that about 99.99% of so-called emo people are nothing but poser n00bs and attention whores with bad hair. So, read on if you really wanna be emo and revel in the awesomeness.

Music

yep, that's what I'm talking about

This is absolutely necessary to leave poser-dom and to enter actual emo-ness. If you don' know what a guitar pick is, the I suggest you go and join those twi-hard losers and soon over Edward Cullen the fairy. OK so you can't play a guitar if your life depended on it. write poetry that's what emo people do 'to express their inner angst'. Choose the most obscure bands you can think of (or can't think of), to increase credibility. No one would believe you if you only listen to My Chemical Romance. So catch up n00b.

Hair, make up clothes

...or their need to dress all in black

Emo music can only take you so far... oh what am I saying, it's not going to take you far at all (apart from providing topics for conversation with random emo people) unless you look the part. Got red hair? Please, that's so not emo, unless it's synthetic scarlet.

or bleached blonde

And when it comes to clothes, make sure that they are all ill fitting. What? that top fits you perfectly? oh starve yourself n00b!!! And of course you should always, always wear a bunch of bracelets and bangles (black, studded) to hide your wounds.(What? cutting yourself is mandatory... are you in or what? In? well then keep up!). And guys, you wanna be emo? borrow your little brother's jeans... those fit way too well. Your girlfriend's skinnies are also fine. (I'm surprised you have a girlfriend, considering you're supposed to be all jaded and tormented)

I iz Tormented

Saw that picture of Jenny Humphrey? yes, that should be your face from now on. Guy or girl, it's all about EYELINER. Don't worry if you're a klutz. The more smudged it is the better (like Jenny Humphrey's make up artist who thinks that the eyelid is at the bottom of the eyes). Creating hte perfect black-eye effect should be your goal. Oh, and don't forget the nail polish - black.


Emo mindset

sad... sad... sad

Ok, this is the serious part. Have you ever seen a smiling, laughing and joking emo? Of course you haven't. There's no point in dressing all in black with slashed wrists and chipped black fingernails unless you have some deep seated depression-related issue. And emos don't talk to people, they are very quiet and only express themselves through art (by themselves I mean their pain). So, keep that big mouth shut! And you have to believe that death, pain and blood solves everything. If your partner left you, cut your self and write poems in blood, if you can't fit in, cut your other wrist and bandage it... it's that simple.

I iz no poser n00bs

So I think we have everything straight. hair, make up, clothes, attitude... check!! Good! Now go and take a picture and upload it as your facebook profile. Now who's the poser????

The cat's IN the box now...

Yes this is for you, you yellow furball...

Judging by my liberal use of LOL cats on every single (almost) blog post of mine, I'm sure you can tell that I am a cat person. So of course, I have a cat at home. Used to have two, this poser right here, and my yellow, milk hungry fur ball pictured above (charmer isn't he?).

So, about this guy, he likes boxes, and bags and chairs and of course my bed. I just recently bought a pair of shoes and being the organizer I am (detect sarcasm), I ended up leaving the shoebox unattended on the floor for a little while. And came back to find this:

'WAT, It Waz Empteh!?'

As you can see, with the adept use of feline-jedi mind powers, he managed to squeeze in to a box half his size. 

'I CAN has diz box!'

He's been sleeping in it for three days now (the box looks more like a basin now). At least it keeps him off my bed, and away from my cables (he likes cables, important and expensive cables)

TTFN

STFU inner critic...! and GTFO inner sloth...!

I mean it!!!!

Ever heard of writer's block? Most of the time we complain about not being inspired. But the true problem may be anything from succumbing to your inner sloth or paying too much attention to the inner critic. Think of these two as the good angel sitting on your right shoulder and the devil sitting on your left and they each try and get you to do what they want. In the case of writer's block, the sloth is hanging on your left, trying to drag you down to bed and the inner critic whispers nasty things about your work in your right ear. 

Ignore them both and do whatever you want...

If you need to get good at what you do, you need to do what you can to shut both of these creeps up. For good. 

See, the inner sloth likes to point out enticing things like food, bed, internet LOL-cats, and other things that will distract and slow you down. 

The inner critic is not as nice and generous, this jerk tells you things like 'Dude, your writing sucks' or 'WTF dude, that's the best line you can come up with?' or 'you call this writing?... tee hee N00B!' or make you do crazy s**t like cutting off your ear (like that Van Gogh fellow). 

'cut off important body part' it said...

What can you do to shut these morons up? Well, you could start by taking a break. You honestly can't create anything when that critic-creep makes criticizing comments about whatever crap you do, you might as well get out of earshot. But don't take a break for too long because then the sloth is going to think that you are in need of sleep or other pointless recreational activity (he just doesn't get the limit, that one).  Take a well earned break and then come back stronger and tell the both of them to go fluff themselves and start writing. 

OYES U DID!

Sometimes that just might not be enough. The critic n the sloth bay both be shut up effectively but, what if you really aren't inspired? (That would be a bummer, weren't you gonna write the next 'Twilight'?...tee hee!'  Hey, I thought I told you to STFU!) 

Without sparkles...

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, lack of inspiration, that could only be cured in time or by drastic change. You could take a vacation and recharge those writer cells and come home with a masterpiece outlined. Or you get out, out of your neighbourhood and move to zombieland... I mean somewhere else, with new things to look at.. oh heck, pack up and go to zombieland (you could write the next......wait, I think that's new!) 

sound's catchy...

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that we don't have to lose to these two creeps. Ignore them and keep doing what you feel is right. I'm sure that J.K. Rowling didn't have a little voice in her head saying 'Srsly?' each time she came up with something out of this world. The woman's richer than the queen because she knew how to say STFU to the inner critic and keep writing. I suggest the rest of you do the same!!!

I Love Horses...

Maybe not to actually own one (so damn high maintenance and I don't really like large herbivorous mammals... cows... shudder), but to draw them....  That's another story.... They are the most regal, poised and elegant animals I know (cats are great but, I wouldn't call them elegant). 

I really like to draw, I wish I could get around to doing that in my free time... But, that doesn't work for me because most of the stuff I've done in my free time end up in the bin after a couple of days. It doesn't happen when I draw for a reason... So, let's hope I get more reasons to draw :-)

This one, I drew for our newly spruced up living room. My mother wanted to paint the walls in violet and that kind of darkened up the room. So we had to replace all the sofa covers with white ones, orange curtains with white lace ones and the painting of the indian bride with...'mes cheveux!!' 

The is the first step...

White horse completed.... moved on to the black one

Crayons were a new medium for me. I used crayons when I was in pre-school, and then stopped. I worked with water colours and oil paint for a while.... this is much better as I can blend easily (used cotton buds and my fingers for this) with just about anything I can find.... so, goodbye brushes???
Maybe not so fast, I might try another one with water colours and pastel.... Now if someone would just ask me to paint something.....

Final picture

A well spent 4 days....! (yes it took 4 days, four entire days of paint covered fingers... and one ruined, T shirt, lot's of missed cartoons) I think it was worth it...!!  Maybe I'll do one for my man....! A pic of... oops I'd better not tell.... :) :) Motivation enough for me!!!!

Move Over...

So you want to move. Have you thought about all of the complexities that might arise? What complexities? 

srsly??

Well, there are a bunch of things that can go wrong when you're attempting to move to a new house. Still not sure? How about, Damaging your entire collection of ceramic cats... or ending up killing all the fish in your fish tank... Okay how about, having to take a whole month off work to sort things out after the most disorganized move of the century and ending up losing your job? (plus, since you spent the entire month unpacking all the crap from your previous house without actually socializing with your new neighbors, the're gonna think you're some sort of a a creepy hermit or something, yes, even the hot one across the street! Trust me, it's not the right message to send.)

First things first, 

Find yourself a good mover. I personally recommend one of those Man with a Van deals. They are totally cheap, easy and also really quick to arrange. You'll save a lot of time with one of these deals if you don't have a lot of fancy furniture items to be transported. It's totally OK to hire a removalist if you have a 4foot harp, a Baldwin Grand piano and a wall aquarium or anything fancy+expensive+antique to pack. Trying to pack items such as these on your own could cause damage and all sorts of unnecessary drama. You'll be left alone to work on your appearance (for the benefit of your hot neighbours) while the professionals handle the dirty work.

You'll get some help too...

Take only what you need,
You really don't want to take that massive pile of old magazines in to your new place do you? Throw, sell or give away anything you don't need.

Really? Gardening?

Pack ahead,

You wouldn't want to start packing the day before you leave. Make a time table and start separating and packing things at least a week earlier to save a lot of time while letting you decide what to take and what to leave lying on your lawn and avoid looking like this,

...u did fowget to bring mah Litterbox...!

Once you have moved to your new house, unpack IMMEDIATELY. That way, you can settle in to your new life quickly and have time to socialize and make new friends. Taking walks or drives around your new neighbourhood will allow you to meet new people and to get familiar with your surroundings...

..ur new here aren't u?

Make your new home look as inviting as possible. Arrange furniture, re-paint, redecorate and personalize as much as you can to make the place feel like home to you.

...and I Likez it!!

Finally, Now that you're all settled and the star of the neighbourhood. Enjoy your new life and make the most of it!!!

Important Note : Ant Proof your new house.

The best professional help you can get

Removals company

Concave or convex???...

When I was a teenager people would comment on how thin I looked usually followed by, "Don't you eat enough?", which usually preceded "Oh, I eat Waaaay more than you think. I just don't know where it all goes" + wide smile.
I kinda miss those days now, as of now, the same people go like "Putting some meat on I see"s and "Your face is getting rounder" GAH!!! preceded by immidiate diet plans. I have a few tips to everyone out there who has had enough of those bulges and (shudder) stomach tires,

Eat a healthy breakfast - Skipping breakfast is not a good idea if you're planning to fit in to those skinnies you bought two years ago (believe me I know, makes you crave all kinds of junk food... even ones you never liked before - chocolate biscuits). Fruits and yogurt  is a great option.

Er... no!?

Minimize carbohydrates - Yep, that means you can't gorge on a replica of sigiriya made out of rice every lunch. Think more curry than rice and you should be fine (just not enough curry to drink your meal).

No carbs!! I said no carbs!

Snack carefully - We all crave little things to much during tea breaks, it would be best to replace those visions of chocolate cake with fresh fruits and nuts. Occasional cheats - Yes, those can actually help as they keep you happy and feeling full but still won't pile up to raise the dial on the bathroom scale. But keep in mind,
you got jeans to fit in to.

Exercise - Sitting on a couch munching all the carrot sticks in the world, is not going to help. It helps to do a few laps on the pool, a morning walk on the beach or taking the stairs instead of the lift.

No, that's not exercise

H to tha O - keep youself hydrated, drink enough water to beat the heat and help with digestion as well as to keep your system clean.

showers help too

Think positive - Someone I knew once said,"You got one life, why spend it hungry?". I say "You got one life, why not be healthy?" Honestly, eating healthy doesn't mean starving oneself. And I don't think anyone wants to spend their one life sporting a matching silhouettes with the Michelin man.

... or this guy

And finally,
Relax - Stop obsessing over it. Embrace every moment of your life, even the uncertain, jiggly, wobbly bits. "Moderation is the key to success"

chillax.....

What about me? I am still craving something sweet, maybe it's time for Little Bro, to  run out for some "pani appa" (treacle hoppers). Yummmmyyy...!!!
Over and out <3

Only in Sri Lanka.... :)

I'm constantly on the lookout for funny stuff that I can photograph and laugh at forever. Quite recently I ran in to some really funny stuff on the roadside but the downside of being forgetful as I am is that I don't always have my camera with me to preserve the moment. 

1. Tuk Tuks

Believe me, our tuk-tuks are a constant source of amusement to me. The over-sized sound systems, the overly flashy  paint jobs are all second to the tuk-tuks equivalent of bumper stickers; "the quotes on the rear".

I'm sure it is what it says it is

I saw another one which said, "Gold Mother". It goes for saying, somethings should only be said in Sinhala.

2. Food Packaging

This is a bit rare but when you find it, it totally hits the spot. This was taken at a friend's place.

Don't Judge the papadam by the packaging

The taste was pretty much average and there wasn't a lot of product in the package. I guess my friend bought this "for teh lulz" 

3. My cats

It would be unfair to miss out on the funny stuff dished by my babies under my own roof. Being the cat person I am I have two adorable cats:

one is forever ready to strike a pose... 

Ready for those flashing lights...

the other likes boxes, baskets, pans, cupboards... well, pretty much anything large enough for him to curl up inside.

Hey, if the little old woman lived in a shoe then...

You gotta enjoy the little things that life dishes out through the course of a rough week. These are the silver lines on my rainclouds and the rainbows after the rain.

Well, that's enough LOLz for today I guess. 

Stay signed in for more... and until then PEACE and Enjoy the little things!