This is a RANT! - 3 Types of Annoying people you meet everyday

I really needed to vent out and post a rant about all the things that annoy me to death. So, here it is.

Number 1 - People with heads that are large enough to be Helium balloons.

... full of hot gas

You know what I'm talking about. There are those people who are intent on making a point of just how smart/busy/awesome they are (when clearly, they aren't). How to spot one of these morons? Easy. All you have to do is ask a simple question and they will give you a complete recap of their life and achievements.

Example

you - "Hey dude, how are you doing? I feel like I've been run over by a Mack truck."
Annoying bigheaded person - "Really? I feel great. You know despite the fact that I took a power walk through Death valley after work on Friday and then wrote my entire life's memoirs on my Android phone and while beating my computer in chess, level 9 of course."
Your mind -WTF? (your face - O_o )

...surviving w/out brains, worse

These people are self absorbed idiots who think that they are better than everybody else and will try to impress (cough *show off *cough) their -often times lame - achievements.

How to be rid of them - sadly, man is yet to invent a successful method of deflating overly inflated brainless heads without resorting to murder. This means that you are entirely up to your own devices. Instead of trying to one-up them, you should nod at the appropriate places and try your best to avoid talking/texting/chatting/messaging with these people at all costs. They're on your Facebook? Well then you're screwed.

Number 2 - The annoying fat people in buses (not the regular ones)

yeah, right

I am one of those unfortunate souls who has to bus-it to and from work everyday. This puts me (sadly) in close proximity with these obese morons. My problem is when I am unfortunate enough to share a seat with one of these people, I end up clinging to dear life and praying that the bus won't move too much because apparently, the large person next to me has decided to fall asleep/ place their size-appropriate bag next to them (taking up even more space)/ or act totally pervy or smell to the heavens. Seriously, there should be a size limit to people who are allowed to sit in buses (or stand... oh what the hell, they should totally walk, they need the exercise). And then there are the ones who walk reeeeeeallly slowly on narrow aisles blocking your progress and wasting your life.

How to spot them - Well duh, that mountain of jiggling flesh tottering towards you or spilled on the one available seat on the bus is one of these creeps. Male or female, they are everywhere.

Good luck with that Fatso!

How to avoid one - Well, unless the government imposes a maximum weight/circumference limit on people, fatties will continue to live on and annoy you to death. Try to keep out of their way and go on a diet to avoid becoming one of them yourself.

Number 3 - Stalkers

:-s

Ever since the birth of social networking, the art of stalking has been taken to a whole new level. Stalking used to be something that required immense stealth and planning as it was mostly carried out in person. (You know like that fairy, Edward Cullen) But now, thanks to Mr. Sucker-berg, we have to try our best to keep these creeps from viewing our pictures on Facebook.But they don't just stop at looking. They also like to poke, friend request, message and add our friends too. This is so damn annoying when you find a whole bunch of unknown weirdos messaging and poking you at all odd hours of the day. Seriously, just because you have a picture of some cute guy you found out on the internet, that does not give you the right to poke anyone (mainly 'cause you are NOT that cute guy).

As for the traditional stalker-types, they still do exist. As a result of being a poor soul who has to bus-it, I run in to these in the flesh quite a lot.

You might want to stop leaving your profile open. Your cat might take pity and, you know the rest!

How to spot one - Easy, all the random creeps who try and add you on Facebook are stalkers to some degree. It is best to avoid them like the plague. But, there are those who take stalking to a whole new level. Like, messaging, poking and adding your friends (the dumb ones who would add anything that can click the "add as a friend" button). If you have decided to add one of these creeps by accident, or out of pity then be warned as they will bombard your statuses with their lame comments. So, if you're adding them, do so at your own risk.

The traditional ones are hard to miss. They stare at you, unabashedly, like they've never seen another human being before. And will try to strike a conversation or smile with you or worse, persuade you to call them.

How to avoid one - Easy, don't add them. If they keep annoying you, block them or, be nasty and report them so that Sucker-berg's army of minions can deal with them.

Avoiding the traditional ones is a bit tricky. You might want to tell them to back off or remove yourself from the situation to avoid them. But in reality, they'll be a pain throughout the entire bus ride. Enjoy.

Well, that's all for now. Ah, it feels good after a rant :D

Day I has rantz. Teehee

STFU inner critic...! and GTFO inner sloth...!

I mean it!!!!

Ever heard of writer's block? Most of the time we complain about not being inspired. But the true problem may be anything from succumbing to your inner sloth or paying too much attention to the inner critic. Think of these two as the good angel sitting on your right shoulder and the devil sitting on your left and they each try and get you to do what they want. In the case of writer's block, the sloth is hanging on your left, trying to drag you down to bed and the inner critic whispers nasty things about your work in your right ear. 

Ignore them both and do whatever you want...

If you need to get good at what you do, you need to do what you can to shut both of these creeps up. For good. 

See, the inner sloth likes to point out enticing things like food, bed, internet LOL-cats, and other things that will distract and slow you down. 

The inner critic is not as nice and generous, this jerk tells you things like 'Dude, your writing sucks' or 'WTF dude, that's the best line you can come up with?' or 'you call this writing?... tee hee N00B!' or make you do crazy s**t like cutting off your ear (like that Van Gogh fellow). 

'cut off important body part' it said...

What can you do to shut these morons up? Well, you could start by taking a break. You honestly can't create anything when that critic-creep makes criticizing comments about whatever crap you do, you might as well get out of earshot. But don't take a break for too long because then the sloth is going to think that you are in need of sleep or other pointless recreational activity (he just doesn't get the limit, that one).  Take a well earned break and then come back stronger and tell the both of them to go fluff themselves and start writing. 

OYES U DID!

Sometimes that just might not be enough. The critic n the sloth bay both be shut up effectively but, what if you really aren't inspired? (That would be a bummer, weren't you gonna write the next 'Twilight'?...tee hee!'  Hey, I thought I told you to STFU!) 

Without sparkles...

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, lack of inspiration, that could only be cured in time or by drastic change. You could take a vacation and recharge those writer cells and come home with a masterpiece outlined. Or you get out, out of your neighbourhood and move to zombieland... I mean somewhere else, with new things to look at.. oh heck, pack up and go to zombieland (you could write the next......wait, I think that's new!) 

sound's catchy...

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that we don't have to lose to these two creeps. Ignore them and keep doing what you feel is right. I'm sure that J.K. Rowling didn't have a little voice in her head saying 'Srsly?' each time she came up with something out of this world. The woman's richer than the queen because she knew how to say STFU to the inner critic and keep writing. I suggest the rest of you do the same!!!

Why some couples are annoying...

...annoying couple

Having my one true love far, far away in another continent is no easy task: it takes commitment, good communication and trust. Right now, I’m not exactly in the mood for ’10 tips to keep the flame up on your long distance relationship’, I’m in the mood to display my observations on stereotypical couples we meet everywhere (And no, I’m not a creepy couple watcher who peers at unsuspecting couples from discreet places in not so discreet ways) and provide comic relief and annoyance.

at diz couple

Being in Sri Lanka, I believe that the most common couple is “sexist macho guy with sexist meek girl”. I see couples like this pretty much everywhere and strangely 3 out of 5 of these couples are actually happy with each other. The common characteristics of this type of affair are: the guy tells the girl what to wear, what not to wear, who not to talk to (that usually involves all other guys because he’s convinced that the girl will cheat on him right after a conversation with some random guy and that every guy is after his beloved) and especially what she’s supposed to do with her life after marriage. I’ve met girls who claim that they want to stop whatever occupation they are in right after they are married because their boyfriends want them to be housewives while their boyfriends claim that they will not have their wives working because they can provide for them. Then again, these guys go for simple low maintenance type girls who think lipstick is sacrilege and that conditioner is unnecessary because frizzy hair is attractive. The worst part about these people is, they frown upon every independent girl who disagrees ('what? you'don't want kids right after you're married?what kind of female are you?') and are on a mission to shove their archaic beliefs down our throats (“Make up is for street-walkers and you will die if you iron your hair’). Believe me when I say, they are made for each other.

There are certain guidelines to public displays of affection and there are those “couples who don’t know the limits of PDA”. One doesn’t have to take a class to know that certain couple things are not to be done in public. While holding hands and a brief greeting kiss may be given all audience approval, it would be nice if any further public interactions are kept below PG-13. Note to all such couples, do you really want to perform your poor techniques in front of someone who is trying to keep their eyes averted and trying to be interested in the sad looking scenery outside the bus window? And yes, we get it; you’re together, now get out of sight please!

...that you guys got back together

Then there’s the quite uncommon “American TV show mimicking couple”, they are the most annoying of the lot. My advice to all you bystanders and friends of the couple is to stay the hell away from them. These couples have a tendency to have lame fights and break up to discover that the people around them are outlets to display their grieving skills which include, bad mouthing their partner, telling all the nasty things they told about you and range from being annoyingly over-friendly to scarily clingy. If you can handle that, then go, be the BFF for a while but be warned, you will be dumped without a second thought at the first hint of a reunion. Then you will be left gawking like an idiot while they canoodle around, ignoring you and the fact that you spent weeks listening to their sob stories and wiping the snot off their faces. And yes any words of condolence and comfort mentioned by you will be shared among the couple. But, don’t worry; you’ll have your revenge, when they break up again. It works like clockwork.

I can haz pokkit fulz of sunshine? plz

Last but so not least, we have “The Braggers”. These are surprisingly common; usually the bragging is done by the girl. If you happen to be friendly with such a couple, be prepared for lengthy boring discussions about how great their boyfriend is. Mostly they talk about the guy’s commitment to them (‘he always calls me before he goes to work”), the presents they receive (“OMG, I got this awesome e-card for Halloween”) and how awesome his job is (“his boss took him out to lunch and said that he can get a way better job at a way bigger company”). This is extremely annoying to me since my man is overseas and I don’t get to see him often, and this dumb girl goes on for hours about how her boyfriend ‘totally can’t go two days without seeing her’. My advice: try not to ‘one-up’ them, pretend you’re listening and make approving sounds at carefully spaced intervals, and sing ‘pocketful of sunshine’ (the take me away part) in your head.
Oh, I forgot to mention, they come to you at the slightest bump of their relationship bearing heavily detailed complaints of their misery. Enjoy!

Shocked...!

It was late and dark, I was with a work buddy at a bus stop, waiting for a bus that wasn't loaded to capacity to go home after a long difficult day. We were sharing various bus jokes and laughing at random things when suddenly, a guy jumped in front of a three-wheeler and I looked away, imagining the worst. The bus stop seemed to have had stopped, everything was quiet except  screams, except, those were not of pain but of anger. "Get the hell out of there, get out of there, you whore!" my head turned to look at the guy who, moments ago, jumped in front of the moving threewheeler screaming and madly swinging at a cowering girl in the backseat. When I looked more closely, there was another guy in the back seat with her. Meanwhile, the guy outside kept trying to drag the girl out in to the pavement and the three-wheeler driver kept looking ahead oblivious to world war three going on in his backseat. This went on for about five minutes and the whole time, the guy outside the three-wheeler kept throwing threats and blows at the girl while the guy inside
kept saying " stop stop, let's just talk about this, please get in!". In the end the driver finally decided to drag his fat ass out and intervene "sir please get in, we'll go somewhere quiet and talk"
(Weird, maybe that's what he was trying to put together for so long). Eventually, Kung fu master there, finally decided to quieten down, get himself half dragged in to the backseat and allow to be zoomed away out of sight.

The crowd dispersed while my friend and I were left with open mouths. We missed a couple of empty busses too as he pointed out later. This happened a few weeks ago, and I still don't know what to say. All three of them were good looking office types and raised many a theories among the audience, which mostly justified the karate kid's actions. (They were fantastic viewers by the way, and managed to maintain absolute silence throughout the whole scene and nobody - even the body builder type guy in a muscle tee - intervened.
Maybe the grl was caught red-handed while cheating, or may be it was a weird misunderstanding of some sort. It's so not my business, but still in my opinion, people should try not to resort to violence and try to solve problems in a rational and more civilized manner.
And a note to the girl-  I don't know the real situation but, If you were cheating, I just hope you won't cheat on anyone else and if it was all just a wrong-place-at-the-wrong-time incident then, know what you're dealing with (your guy).